Since I've met this one boy, I've changed a lot. In ways both good and bad, but mostly bad. Last semester I thought I was over it, but clearly it was only because I was here and he was there, because this summer I definitely did not make good decisions.

I wish I had someone who would berate me when I've done something wrong. Or maybe I do have someone like that, and I'm just too ashamed to say things I really should be saying out loud.

glad to be back?

Today Youngsun asked me if I still hated UMass. This year has been a lot better by far, but having it in comparison to last year makes me sad. I'm SO glad Shuyue's having a lot of fun meeting everyone because I didn't want her first semester experience to be anything like mine - I spent most of it playing omgpop and talking to old high school friends on aim. I'm jealous of her position, coming to college already knowing someone.