Wednesday, June 10, 2009

hiiigh hopes, high apple pie in the sky hopes

Around this time last year, Damon told me I'm the type of person who would thrive at college. After a whole year away, I can finally ask myself: am I thriving??

I haven't changed - I feel exactly the same.
I haven't grown (physically, mentally, or spiritually - but maybe emotionally).
I haven't had more fun than i had in high school.

So no, I'm not thriving. But maybe it takes more than one year.

I looked up my old friends from the smart-kid camp I went to in 7th and 8th grade, and they are ALL at Harvard. Or MIT. Weird, that I used to be destined for similar greatness. I don't think I was ever smart/hard-working/competitive enough to make it though. I'm content with being mediocre. How horrible!

Two years ago Becca told me I should stop playing those games that LYF girls play. I disagreed with her - when did I EVER play all those church games, flirting through giving boys spiritual advice, caring about what people thought, whatever? But today I realized I PLAY GAMES. I don't do it the way everyone else does, but I do it. What a terrible revelation.

I can't wait until my internship starts. I think too much in this room.

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