I have weekends like this every month, where I just get really sad and all I want to do is go home. Even after three semesters here I don't fit in, and I don't know how. I have friends, but they're geographically close, here, not emotionally close. It feels like I'm their friend because I'm here, I'm convenient, but when we graduate we'll all move on and we won't matter to each other anymore. I miss my friends at home, I miss my sister and Dave and Ange and Dan and Patrick and Spencer.
I always believed that my life would begin when I finally got married, but there is a long way until then. But if I can't make friends..then how will I get married?! Sad.
This is one of those things where I should just depend on God right? This is a lesson about the futility of man and how hopeless it is to rely on other people, how God is the only one who is always there. But I don't know how to go deeper with this relationship with him, which is what accountability and mentoring is for, which I don't have. Stupid cycle.
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